Burr House
What makes my house a home?
By Mr R P Starr
Burr is my friendly boarding home, it’s nice and cosy, a little like Rome.
I’d like to give you some details galore, I’ll tell you everything, right down to the core.
The entrance way is scattered with books, and coats that have fallen off their hooks.
The kitchen is littered with old orange peels, left there by Year Nine, or maybe Sam Shields.
Upstairs are bedrooms aplenty for boys, who share their laptops, iPods and toys.
One room that causes concern is Sims’, as hidden in his cupboard is a bottle of Pimms.
Then you’ve got cool friendly Goddard, don’t mess with him, he’s nice but he’s well ‘ard.
New to Year Ten is our mate Alex Brogan, who has lots of posters of wrestler Hulk Hogan.
Down the corridor you’ll find Year Nine, whose rooms are tidy ‘cos they clean all the time!
Aldridge, Barnes-Yeates and Lewis times two, whose bedrooms are too close to the loo.
Giulio and Moustier, both with a ‘Di’, and one of the girls is Hadeel Mufti.
Another Year Nine boy is Exadactylos, but to fit his name in this poem I got rather lost.
At the end of the passage is Mr Starr’s den, he’ll help you out if you’ve lost your pen.
He lives with his South American wife, who keeps him focused on the good things in life.
Upstairs you’ll find the big sixth form pupils, whose standards are high, as are their scruples.
Cam, Cowmeadow, Gooddy and Lloyd, they’re all decent – no need to avoid.
Nolden, Pearce, Ali and Law. Is that it? No, I think there’s more.
Thornton-Smith, Nutman, Taira and the rest; three cheers for them all because they’re the best!
Then of course there’s our lovely Liza, a pleasant girl, you can’t despise her.
Half of our Japanese contingent is Shin, who can sleep through the fire-alarm din.
Pasha, Chan-Kim, Nadal and Yeem; here we have an overseas theme.
Reynolds, Rewcastle, Risley and Gao, how many pupils have I mentioned now?
Gawlak-Johns and Leung are multi-lingual lads, and I’m sure one day they’ll make good dads.
Moving along now, let’s say hello to Bryan, he’ll give you support if you feel like cryin’.
He shares his room with tall-Kiwi Nick, who’s never down in the dumps and rarely sick.
Back on the first floor there’s Richard Fitz-Hugh, who’ll help you with your prep, or lend you some glue.
On the ground floor now is the Housemaster’s palace, where he enjoys sipping wine from his chalice.
Mr Lowndes is full of smiles or frowns, and he’ll call you in if you’ve committed a sin.
He runs an activity involving a gun, it sounds most scary but he calls it ‘fun!’
His wife, Mrs Lowndes is cheerful in the rain, and she’ll give you some tablets if you’re in pain.
She recently suffered a broken right arm, but she’s much better now, no long-term harm.
Keeping an eye out for things that go wrong, is multi-talented Mr Mark Long.
Alberto and Lola are from the Philippines, and they polish the floor until it gleams.
Anne Moore folds bed-sheets aplenty. How many would you say? Far more than twenty!
At ten past eight we have our check, don’t be late or…..‘oh heck!’
After that we head to chapel, don’t bring anything, quick, finish your apple!
If there’s no chapel, it’s off to your tutor: a truly great bunch, but which one’s the cuter?
We’ve got Dolan, Cooksey, Pavey and Foakes, between them tutoring most of the blokes.
Seccombe, Mackworth-Praed and Miss Saker. Who is she? Oh, you can’t mistake her!
Looking a little lost is poor Kallum. Who’s his tutor? It’s not Mrs Hallam.
Jamieson, Nutt, Evans and Li. Have I now mentioned the majority?
Phillips and Singleton won’t make you frown, and adding some colour is JB Brown.
Ill recently was Chapel Warden Bowers, but he felt much better after receiving some flowers.
The school day starts with period one, lots of prep, but you’ll get it done.
At break-time the boys enjoy a chat, about the house pet: tortoise or cat?
The kitchen can be busy with boys having a bite, mostly it’s friendly, but sometimes a fight.
Eleven o’ five, some still having a munch. ‘Hurry up now, you can save it for lunch!’
Leading the way is young James Rossi, who’s authoritative but not at all bossy.
He’s good mates with George, Dunc ‘n’ Stewie. They’re a friendly bunch, and so’s our Louis,
After lessons the boys have games. If you miss it, your excuse can’t be lame.
In the evening they do their prep. What’s that noise? It’s Morin’s deck! (as in, DJ deck)
Quietly get on with your work or there’s trouble, get to it now, at the double!
Use the example of the Robinson twins, no hassle from them; they empty their bins.
Then it’s time to relax with your mates, and eat some food but wash your plates.
Gardner’s munching on a pizza crust. ‘Come on George, healthy eating’s a must!’
Later on, the bedtimes are staggered. Please sleep well or you’ll look haggard.
First upstairs are Year Nine, a good bunch of lads who work just fine.
Following on are the Year above, some have girlfriends and are falling in love!
Then it’s the turn of Year Eleven, who dream of rugby, girls and heaven.
Staying downstairs are Griffiths ‘n’ co, who watch TV, no, they don’t want to go!
The duty master locks the doors, closes the windows and clears the floors.
Then it’s time for a quick look-round, all is quiet apart from the hounds.
This is why I love Burr so much, because it has a true family-touch.
I’m sorry if this statement causes a stir, but the best house at Shiplake really is Burr.
I could go on with some more interesting stuff, but I think that’s probably about enough.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my tale, but now it really is time to bail.
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